He's Home!

Will came home on Saturday November 2, which just happened to be his 4 month birthday! That week was a crazy one. The doctors had started talking about discharge with us and said it (most likely) be that week, but the previous Sunday (oct 27), Will had a really off day and wasn't wanting to eat anything. That made us nervous and we thought we would be staying longer because of it. BUT he picked up right where he left off eating the next day. The next few days went by so quickly! The nurses began doing all the discharge teaching with us and we were scheduled to "room-in" on friday night. Luckily Matt had already taken Friday off of work so it was going to work perfectly. 

 We quickly finished up the gifts we put together for our nurses! Here's a picture of it. It's a glass ornament with Will's profile silhouette inside with his name and date of birth. Then we attached this cute note we found on pinterest that says- 

"A little something for your tree

For when you see it think of me

And how you saved my life that year

And eased all of my parents fears

You may not wear a cape

You job's not fighting crime

But when i think of super heroes

It's you that comes to mind"

 We cleaned up the house and packed a bag for the night! We were so excited to spend the first night with our man. For the babies that go home on oxygen & monitors, they have the parents stay the night with the baby in a room to make sure everything is working and functioning as it should. 

 Here is the room we stayed in with Will. It was our first night on our own with  Will! 

 We LOVED it so much. We didn't want to put him down! 

 The picture below is of his 'bikini top' as my mom referred to it! Underneath it are two leeds that read his heart rate and respiratory rate. They hook up to a monitor that will alarm when his heart rate is too fast, too slow, or if he is periodic breathing. Most of the time it is only alarming because the leeds are falling off, or if we forget to plug it in to charge. 

 He is such a snuggle bug!

 The next morning the doctor came in and said he was discharging us! We had forgotten the 'coming home' outfit at home in the hustle of everything, so we just put some clothes that we had already been keeping at the hospital for him. We put him in his carseat- he wasn't too happy at first!

 And we were off!! I can't describe the emotions we felt that day. It was all so surreal. It didn't really hit me until we were actually home and I was feeding him. Tears came to my eyes, I hadn't ever imagined what it would be like to have him home because we had never known any different than the hospital! 

 Matt is SO great with Will. Especially during the night! He is so helpful and willing!

 On Sunday afternoon my mom and mason arrived! Mason was SO sweet with Will and just wanted to hold him and touch him. It was the cutest!

 My mom came to visit when Will was first born, but at the time he was still in an 'incubator' when he wasn't able to be held. So this was the first time she was able to hold our miracle boy!

 James had been showed pictures of Will on a daily basis so he knew who he was. He was so sweet with Will the first time he met him and it is so fun to watch him interact with him! 

 It was SOO nice having my mom here. She helped so much. Especially during the night. She would take Will and rock him when he was fussy so that we could sleep. She is the best!

 It has been SO nice having Aly live so close! Yesterday she and James walked over to watch Will while I showered. She's THE best! 

 Grandmother and Poppy came to visit!

 Kara just happened to overlap with my mom for a few days, so we had a family dinner with everyone on Friday night. 

 We hated to say goodbye to my mom :( But one day we will live close together! 

 Just missing sweet Taryn!

 We went on our first walk on saturday- Will seemed to like it!

 I am so lucky to be able to snuggle this boy whenever I want! 

 He loves crossing those ankles! We even have an ultrasound with him crossing them!

 We think he is going to have hazel eyes!

 He is growing up so fast. It's hard to believe he's already been home over a week!

 Love this boy with all my heart. 

After 4 months, 123 days in the NICU, we finally have our sweet little miracle baby home. We are still adjusting to the nights, but he give us good 2-4 hour increments where he sleeps and sleeps so we do too! We are so thankful to have him home.

We drove by the hospital the other day, and tears (lots) came to my eyes. 4 months of our year were spent there. We cried there. We laughed there. We hoped there. We loved it there. It was our second home. We became so close to our favorite nurses. During our 4 months there, we didn't know any different. We didn't know what it was like to bring home a baby from the hospital after he was just born, we didn't know what it was like to have a newborn at home. But now, looking back, it is safe to say it was the hardest journey we have ever traveled. It tested our faith, our love, and our strength, among many other things.  

I am so so thankful for the medical technology that we have today that allowed the doctors and nurses to save our little boys life. We will never ever forget them. It is thanks to them that I am able to snuggle my little boy every night. We are so so blessed.

Thank you to all who have contributed prayers to us during these past 4 months. We definitely saw the Lord's hand at work on a daily basis. We couldn't have made it through without all the love and support that was shown to us. We will never be able to repay you, but just know we appreciate you so much. 

And last of all, I want to publicly thank our Lord, our Savior, for giving this sweet spirit to us to care for.  I don't always feel worthy of His love, but i feel it constantly. I see the light of Christ in my sweet little one all the time. I am the luckiest mama and so thankful that our Father in Heaven trusted me with this sweet boy. 

xoxo

3 months old

Will is 3 months old now! AND we hit his due date. Cannot believe how fast he is growing up!

A lot has happened since my last post, i've never been good at keeping up a blog!

On September 10th, Will came down with an infection. The doctors immediately started him on 4 different antibiotics while running some tests to see what he had. It ended up being some sort of E-coli. They believe it started as a UTI and then made its way into his blood stream. He was having a hard time breathing, so they moved him from nursery b (well side) back to nursery a (sick side) and had to intubate him, which is placing a tube into his lungs that breaths for him. It was really hard to watch him suffer and have to back track so much, but we were so grateful the doctors and nurses listened to our concerned as Matt and I noticed he was getting sick. Unfortunately we weren't able to hold him at all that day. My poor poor babe. Luckily, the infection only lasted a few days.

The next day was my birthday, it was a good day. Matthew spoiled me, as he usually does. and I was able to hold Will again. Poor little man had an IV in his head for his antibiotics. It is my least favorite place for IV's!

 I spent the day making some nursery crafts for Will's room.

Since the infection, he's just been growing and getting stronger and stronger.

Today Will is 14 weeks old! He's 6 pounds 4.5 ounces and barely fitting into his preemie clothes anymore! His due date was on Friday, Oct 4th. 

Little man is still working on eating. I breastfeed him 3 times a day, and he usually takes 2-3 bottles as well. Within the past few days, he's not done as well as he had been doing. He has pretty severe reflux so a GI specialist is going to examine him and see if there is anything more that they can do to lessen the spitting up he does. Also, they're going to check his ears to make sure he doesn't have an ear infection. Hopefully it's nothing and he's just going through a phase! We are so ready to take him home, but we also understand he needs to be 100% ready to come home. Every day we get closer to that day! 

It's such a long journey, and I know it's not over yet. I've learned so so much about myself, my husband, and of course, I've learned how strong our little man is. 

I'm currently at the hospital from 7:30a-9:30a with matt, then I go back at 1:30-4 and then Matt goes with me again at 7:30-9. 

This past weekend was LDS General Conference. It was so great to watch and I felt the spirit so strongly. During the Saturday afternoon session, Elder Holland spoke and really really touched my heart. Here are a few quotes i jotted down:

"Our pursuit of godliness will be tested and tried again and again."

This quote made me think of my little man. Boy has he been tested!! and he's passed every test with flying colors. I can't imagine the love the our Heavenly Father has for this boy.

"Believe in miracles."

I've received the biggest miracle his year and will forever believe in them.

"Don't run faster than you have strength."

The past 14 weeks have been such an emotional roller coaster. I have to remind myself that I can't do everything. 

"Through any illness or difficult challenge in life to be hopeful about and grateful for."

This quote brings tears to my eyes. I'm currently facing a difficult challenge. Throughout this entire experience, i've felt so blessed for SO many things. Family, medical knowledge and technology, Friends, and so many more things. I am so hopeful and grateful for my little boys life.

"We are infinitely more than our limitations or afflictions"

Can't wait to see what our little man will become.  I know he is so much more than a tiny baby in the NICU. He is the strongest human being I know, and he is such an example to me already.

During the Sunday morning session, Henry B. Eyring spoke and really touched my heart. He told a story about how a women was asking God why she sent her son to her, and the response she felt was

 "I gave him to you because I knew that you would love him no matter what."

The moment I heard that, I related it to my own life. I haven't asked God why he gave Will to me, or why this situation, but I know now why He gave him to me. God knew that I would be there and love Will no matter what. He knew that I would never give up on him and be by his side through his whole life. 

I am so so thankful that God saw in me what I didn't. I am a new person, and I know how fragile life can be. Will is so so precious to me and he will always be my reminder that miracles DO happen. 

Here are a couple other quotes from conference that touched my soul.

Thank you all for the love and support and positive thoughts during these past 14 weeks. We feel so blessed to have so many people loving our sweet babe. 

xoxo

1 Month Down!

Today is Will's 1 month birthday! 

(He's also negative two months old seeing as his due date was october 4th)

Wow! I really cannot believe that it has already been a month since I delivered this sweet boy into the world. He's been through SO much in this short time. 

The left picture here is from a few days after he was born, and the right is from a few days ago now! He has already grown soo much!

On July 17th, Will had his first surgery at just 15 days old. The surgery that he had is called PDA ligation, PDA standing for Patent Ductus Arteriosus. The Ductus Arteriosus is a vessel that connects the aorta and pulmonary artery. 

During the first few breaths babies take when they are born, this ductus is no longer needed, so it usually closes on its own. Will's didn't close. They tried giving him some 'neoprophin' i think it was called, to help close this ductus. After 2 rounds of doses, the ductus was still wide open. With his ductus still open, his lungs were getting filled with fluid. So, the doctors let us know that the surgery was necessary so that his lungs wouldn't be getting filled. In premature babies this surgery is very common. There were two major risks. One being possible vocal cord damage. There is a very small vocal nerve that they have to move around during the surgery. The doctor said it is about the size of a few hairs! and if they damage it, Will's voice may be soft, or raspy, but when he got older we would be able to do things to help it. The second risk, which we feared most, was fatality due to bleeding out. Of course, it happens maybe 1 in 400 surgeries, but of course it was still possible and we were nervous for our little man. 

So, on July 17th, Will's surgery took place. During the surgery, the doctor went into Will's little body and clamped that ductus shut. The surgery took about 2 hours all together. During the surgery, Matt and I needed to fill our time with something fun instead of sitting around thinking the worst. So, we went to Build a Bear and made sweet little Will a bear to put by his bedside! 

After that, we grabbed lunch and headed back to the hospital. They do the surgery at Will's bedside, so we waited in the parents lounge. While we were waiting, I saw this on the wall. 

It says, "Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."

Will was born weighing 1 pound 15 ounces. He is the smallest thing I've ever loved, and boy does he have my entire heart! I absolutely love that quote. 

After surgery, the doctor came to us in the surgery and talked to us about the surgery. The surgery went really well! There were no complications and the doctor said he was able to see the vocal nerve and move around it, so there shouldn't be any damage. They placed the clamp on the ductus, and placed a chest tube in him to drain the fluid in his lungs. 

The doctor showed us the clamps they use, one smaller and one bigger. He said that his ductus was so large, they had to use the bigger one! Which is very big considering he is so so tiny.

A few days after his surgery, he was able to come of the ventilator that was preventing us from being able to hold him! On July 21 I held my baby for the FIRST time!!!!!!!! man was that an emotional experience. At the moment we get to hold him once a day for 30 minutes to an hour. It is so hard putting him back in his little incubator! 

While I was holding this sweet boy, he got the hiccups! We now call them 'the squeaks' because of his little squeak each time he hiccups! 

Since his surgery, his little body has had a tough time. Last week he got a blood infection, which was of the staff infection nature. It wasn't too severe, and they were able to start antibiotics immediately. One of the symptoms they saw was his heart rate. He kept having bradycardia episodes, which means he stops breathing, and his heart rate drops from 150-170 down to 60. It is really hard to watch this little man suffer! So, to give him a break, the put a tube down into his lungs so that he could have some rest and have the machine help him breath. The blood culture has come back negative this week, so it looks like we got that infection under control! Now, this little boy has pneumonia, and part of his bowel is septic, which is from infection. The doctors say that because all of his body systems aren't fully developed, they're all effected by infections. 

With having pneumonia and having a tube down his throat, he continues to have small episodes. Twice in the past 2 days the doctors have had to take out his tube, deep suction his lungs, and insert a new tube in his lungs because of his breathing problems. We are hoping that they don't have to do that again, as I can imagine that isn't very comfortable to go through for our little man. 

Thank you all who are continually praying for our little man. They have helped so much, and we feel so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family! 

*Because he is so premature, he doesn't have sucking, swallowing, and breathing all down at once, so I am not able to breastfeed at the moment. So, in the mean time, I am pumping 8-9 times a day, and they are able to feed him limited amounts of my milk! I've been able to swab his mouth with a q tip that has my milk on it and it is so fun to watch him suck on it! Hopefully Will can conquer this pneumonia and get back on track to being a healthy little man. Usually around 34 weeks is when they being trying to have mommas nurse. Will is 31 weeks today! so hopefully soon I will be able to breastfeed my little man.

We expect for Will to stay in the NICU until his due date, so just 2 more months!

1 month down my little man! Let's conquer another month together. Love you oh so much. 

7/2/13://

The day that changed our lives forever.


So, my blood pressure was going crazy. At 7:15am my blood pressure was 196/101. The nurse called the doctor to see what he wanted her to do. She came back and gave me another dose of blood pressure medicine. This had been after staying in bed sleeping for the past several hours. I still had no other symptoms, which still seems crazy to me! My back was starting to hurt from staying in that hospital bed for so long, so they gave me some Tylenol to help with it. About an hour and a half later, around 8:30, by blood pressure had lowered very slightly, 175/99. She called the doctor again and she came back and injected blood pressure meds straight into my I.V. They were checking it every 30 minutes. The next reading around 9:15 was 174/100. Around 10:00, it was 176/106. After this reading the nurse said she was going to go call the doctor to see what he wanted to do.

Around 11:00am,  I got the most terrifying, surprising, unexpected news. The nurse came in and said, "Doctor Drewes says to start prepping for your c section." I couldn't believe it. Anxiety, shock, stress, fright, so many emotions overcame me. Aly and Matt were in the room with me. Matt immediately gave me a blessing, all of us in tears. Soon the nurses came in and started setting up an IV in my right hand. I (of course) was in tears, and the nurse looks at me and asks, "are we hurting you?" UM I'm sorry, but no you aren't hurting me! You just told me I was going into surgery! Why else would I be crying!? hah! They started me on the nasty Magnesium Sulfate again. After they were finished setting up the IV, the anesthesiologist came in to give me the epidural. His phone kept ringing. His ringtone was "Somebody That I Used To Know" and he kept singing along! He was definitely too happy. I rolled over and right before he was going to administer the drugs, he says, "Now, because you aren't feeling any labor pains, this is going to hurt more than usual." Great, thanks for the heads up man. He was soo right though. And since I had been on bed rest, I had edema built up in my back, which made it harder for the meds to go through. SO he had to stick me THREE times. Matt was such a sweet heart. He was holding my hand kept trying to talk to me during it to distract me. OH MAN, did that hurt. And because of the edema, he had to rub it in after he shot it in me! Bah. Worst pains. Soon, but not soon enough, the numbness set it. Dr. Drewes came into the room and explained why they were going to proceed with the c section. Still didn't settle my nerves.

Then, they wheeled me back to the operating room. The last blood pressure reading was 180/110 or something pretty close to that. I kissed Aly goodbye, since she wasn't allowed to come with. Matt held my hand all the way to the operating room. Once in the OR, they rolled me over to the operating table. It was very strange not being able to feel/control my legs! Once I was placed on the table, they put up the sheet in front of my chest. They placed this inflatable paper thing on me, which filled with air that I could tell them when I was cold, and he would make it warm, and vice versa. It was pretty cool, especially since it was freezing in that room to begin with. And boy did I have the shakes! I'm pretty sure that it was from the shock I was in. But the shakes lasted forever it felt like.

Our little boy, Matthew William Erickson,  was born that day at 1:41pm, weighing 1 pound 15 ounces, measuring 15 inches! Matt was able to follow the doctors with our baby to get a video of his precious, yet strong, cry!

Here's one of our first pictures of our sweet baby, Will. 

Aly with our sweet Will.

Every 4 hours, Will has 'cares'. We are able to open his isollete and help with changing his diaper, and taking his temperature.

 This is the diaper he wears right now, and they have to fold it down because it's still too big!

 He has the longest fingers and toes!! So adorable. 

We were definitely blessed with a sweet angel that day. 

Baby Erickson

So, for those who didn't know, we were expecting our first little babe! Little baby boy erickson was expected to arrive Oct 4th. This all changed on Friday, June 31st.

On June 31st, I had my routine OB check up. Matt was able to come to all of my other appointments with me, but this time he had to work, so I decided to ask my sister Aly to come along with me. I really could have gone alone, but boy was I glad I had asked her to come with.

My appointment was at 11:20 AM, but they were running a little late, so they took me back around 11:40 AM. They took my blood pressure and it was immediately high. I think it was 150/102. The nurse brought us into a room and had me lay down in the dark, trying to lower my BP. Soon the DR came in and checked for swelling, and asked some questions about genetic high BP. I let him know my mother had high BP with each of her pregnancies, but it was only high blood pressure, nothing more. He then told me he wanted me to go across the street to Utah Valley Regional Labor & Delivery to be observed and run some tests. Of course that made me start freaking out a little, especially since I was only 26 weeks preggers. They took my BP again before sending me on my way and it had risen to 176/125!

So, luckily, Aly is a stay at home mommy (the best one too), and was more than happy to come with me across the street to the hospital. I called Matt at work and let him know what that we were headed over for some tests. He talked to his boss and was able to leave for a little while. When we got to the L&D they were expecting me. they brought me back into a room and gave me a lovely gown to put on. At this point, I was still feeling fine! I didn't have anything but the high bp. They then took several viles of blood for testing and had me give a urine sample. Matt had to go back to work, but I was feeling fine and didn't think we'd be staying much longer, so I told him that I'd be fine with Aly.

Soon the DR came back with the results. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia. I had only heard this name before, never had I known what it'd meant. The rest of that day was a blur! They immediately started me on an IV of saline and Magnesium Sulfate - which is THE WORST. It made me hot and flushed, nauseated, and so fatigued! Seriously I felt like I was going to die. I was a vegetable.  They gave me a catheter to start the 24 hour urine watch, and my first steroid shot in my bum for the babies development. The DR assume it was severe preeclampsia and talked about possibly having to deliver the baby in the next day or two. YIKES. I was definitely not prepared for that kind of news! I was officially on hospital bed rest. I was going to stay in the hospital until I delivered.


Soon after starting the IV's, they wheeled me down to the first floor to get an ultrasound done to see how baby was. Baby's growth was right on track, but my fluid was low. At 26 weeks the doctor said usually it should measure between 10-20 cm, and mine was at a 6. The doctor explained that this was expected with having preeclampsia, being that it is a placenta disorder. It was exciting to see our baby again, though I was pretty drugged with that magnesium. The ultrasound doctor said that preeclampsia was so fascinating- yeah I didn't agree!

They took us back upstairs and the rest of the night was a blur for me. Matt came back and stayed the night. I started losing muscle strength slowly, and they checked my vitals every hour even through the night, so I definitely did not get any sleep.

Aly would come and sit with me while Matt would go home to shower and grab some things. They ran the tests with my urine, and there was protein in it, but not a whole lot. They moved us to a huge room! It was like the master suites of hospital rooms. One of the lab tech's that came in to draw blood said that this room was one that they put long-term patients in. Obviously the doctors and nurses were thinking (and hoping) I would be able to keep the babe in longer!

I remained on the magnesium sulfate for 48 hours - so from friday night to sunday night. So saturday and sunday were a blur to me as well. My face and feet started swelling, so I started to look like a vegetable, too! It was really miserable. Finally on Sunday they took me off the magnesium, and they also took out the catheter! So, I was finally able to get up to use the bathroom on my own, well, sort of on my own. Because I had been on the magnesium for 48 hours, and had the catheter, my muscles were almost nonexistent, and I couldn't stand up on my own. It was scary! The nurse said that magnesium also relaxes the muscles, so that was to be expected. I still didn't like the feeling at all. I had to have help every time I wanted to use the bathroom for the next 24-ish hours. Sunday night they also let me shower! This was a great thing, but also pretty miserable. I was still suffering from the affects of the mag, so I wasn't able to even shower myself. I sat in the shower, and all I could do was hold the shower head. Luckily, I have a pretty amazing husband, and he helped me. The nurse was impressed and said I had a great husband :)

Monday was a lot better. I had muscle control back, and was able to get up when I needed to use the restroom. My blood pressure was getting better with the medicine they had me on, so they checked me every 4 hours, instead of every hour! That was a nice break. For the most part my blood pressure was staying the same every time. Matt went to work that day, and Aly (such a wonderful sister!!) came and sat with me for the majority of the day.

Tuesday is when life, as we knew it, changed unexpectedly.

                              To be continued...