This past month has been so fun! Will and I spent a month in California with Matt's family, and now we are in Texas for 10 days with my family! It was sad to leave California! We had so much fun. I am so thankful for having such amazing in-laws!
On Thursday before we left for Texas we had Will's baby blessing!
All of Matt's siblings were there, it was so nice! We got Will's cute little blessing outfit from a little boutique in Utah called Sunday's Child. It was so cute on him! Still in size newborn haha.
Friday morning Will and I hopped on a plane to Texas! This trip was sort of last minute. My younger brother Mason is going on his mission for our church on January 8th, so this Sunday, the 29th, he is giving his farewell talk in our church service. This will be the last time we are all together for about 2+ years! For Christmas he gave me a framed picture of him and Will! We will definitely keep this up in our house to remind us of his amazing strength and testimony!
^ the picture he had framed for us
So Will and I flew from Burbank, CA to Las Vegas, NV but didn't get off the plane. Then we flew from Vegas to El Paso, TX where we had a lay over then from El Paso to Dallas! It was a LONG day. but Will did SO well! Luckily he slept through each leg. On our flight from Vegas to El Paso there was no one in the seats next to me so he had a nice nap on the seats next to me!
Matt and I treated ourselves to an early Christmas present!
A Nikon! We've always wanted one, but never really had a cause to get one. But now we have an adorable little baby whose life we want to document! We are having a lot of fun with it! Here are some pictures we've taken.
(We are both new to this thing, so we are still learning!)
Will sat on Santa's lap at the ward Christmas party in California! He pretty much slept through it. We are so happy to have him with us this Christmas.
Oh how love the Christmas season! This year I think I appreciate the meaning of Christmas more than ever. Given this years events & experiences, I have never been more thankful for our Heavenly Father, and for His Son who came to Earth to die for us.
Before this year, I had never really experienced anything 'life-changing' or really significant, besides getting married to my best friend of course.
This year I experienced levels of emotions that I had never imagined.
Sure I knew what fear was. But I hadn't experienced the fear of not knowing if my baby would survive delivering at 26 weeks. Or the fear of watching my baby get sick again when he was so close to coming home.
Sure I knew what joy was. But I hadn't experienced the joy of hearing that 26 week baby cry for the first time. Or the joy of seeing my baby open his eyes for the first time a week after he was born. Or the joy of being able to bring my baby home after 4 long months in the NICU.
Sure I knew what sadness was. But I hadn't experienced the sadness of watching my baby silently cry because of the tubes down his throat. Or the sadness of having dear friends in the same NICU say goodbye to their sweet Lacey who was born at 24 weeks, knowing that could have been us.
Sure I knew what happiness was. But I had never held my baby for the first time 3 weeks after he was born. Or the happiness of putting clothes on my baby when he was a month and a half old, because this meant he was free of the IVs.
And sure I was thankful. But never has my heart been so full of gratitude. For
this precious life. For the amazing miracles of modern medicine. For the amazing medical staff that held our hands as we watched our little one ride the roller coaster of the NICU. For the amazing friends and family who have stood by us from day one. For an amazing husband who was strong when I was weak, and lifted me up when I was down.
And most of all, I am so incredibly thankful for a loving Savior. He has felt each of these emotions x1000. and because He did that willingly, I was, and am, able to turn to him in my darkest hour. When I thought all hope was lost, He was there. When I felt like giving up, He was there. When I was overjoyed by the progress our baby was making, He was there.
Knowing that someone has felt exactly what I was feeling made it that much more bearable. I always had, and will have, someone to turn to in times of despair, sorrow, and loneliness. I know I can always depend on Him to be there. I know if we all can rely on Him, He can and will help us through our trials and sufferings.
"All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ." Shayne M. Bowen
John 14: 18 "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."
This Christmas season my heart is full of so many things, but mainly gratitude. I am grateful for our dear Father in Heaven who sent his own son here to die for me, and you.And for the knowledge that He did so that we may live again. I hope we can all remember the true meaning Christmas and the tremendous impact it has on our lives.
I cannot put into words how grateful I am for this precious soul and for the lessons his life has already taught me.
Our sweet little boy, Will, has been home for a month now! I
cannot believe how fast time is flying, and how quickly he is growing! He is 5
months old, 2 months adjusted. His ‘adjusted’ age goes off of his due date. And
that’s how we will track his growth & development, according to his adjusted
age.
<birth 5 months>
At his last appointment he weighed 8 pounds 7 ounces. But I think he weighs at least 9 pounds now! and he barely fits in the pack n play insert we have now because he is getting so tall! He was 20.75 inches last appointment.
Here are some updates about the little man and his personality. He is still in newborn clothes. The fit pretty well for the width, but he's still got room in the length to grow. He's acting so old to me. He used to just sleep and eat. Now he is awake for more of the day, smiling and being cute! It's so fun talking to him and watching him respond. He's able to follow me with his eyes too! So I know he's actually looking at me :) His hair is starting to get darker, and he definitely has brown eyes. He hates being swaddled, but usually won't sleep well unless he is swaddled tight. But somehow almost every time he wakes up with his arms out of the swaddle, and sometimes his feet too! When he's awake he likes to have his arms and legs free, kicking and waving around. During the nights he wakes up every 3-4 hours to eat, during which time i've been watching Dawson's Creek on Netflix to help keep me awake! Sadly, I'm almost done with all 6 seasons, so I'll need to find another show to watch! Let me know if you have any suggestions!
Right now, Will and I are in California with Matt's family! We have been here since Thanksgiving and we are very much enjoying it. Matt is at home in Utah working hard and studying up for finals and then he will be back in California on the 19th. It took a couple days to get used to the nights with Will without him, but we adjusted quickly. It's been nice being away from the snow and cold in Utah!
So, when I first became pregnant, I wanted to breastfeed. I wasn't super educated on it, and knew it's usually hard with your first, but my sister began educating me and encouraging me. Well, when Will was born at 26 weeks, I began pumping a couple hours after he was born. I still had hope that one day I would be able to breastfeed my baby. I had no idea what was in store for me as far as breastfeeding goes having a premature baby. To keep my milk supply, I had to pump 8-10 times a day, which is every 2-3 hours. Sadly, I was on high blood pressure medications for 6+weeks after I had Will, which didn't allow my milk to ever fully come in. Each time I pumped I would only get about an ounce from both sides combined (which isn't much at all). But, I hoped that once I did start nursing him, that my body would produce what he needed. I tried all sorts of supplements but nothing helped my supply to fully come in. Once Will was able to start to try breastfeeding, he would suck and suck and suck and barely get anything from me. I'm pretty sure it was partly due to his tongue tie, but also due to my lacking. Long story short, I was never able to fully breastfeed Will. So, for the past 5 months, I've been pumping. Because Will wasn't able to take my milk the first few weeks of life and then when he was sick as well, luckily we were able to store up a bunch of milk in our freezer. Sadly, we ran out of frozen milk last week. Which meant that it was no longer necessary for me to keep pumping because I wasn't producing nearly enough for him. It's hard to describe how much I loved and hated pumping. I hated it because it took up SO much of my time, and it often made me depressed because each time i pumped I was reminded of not having enough for Will. I loved it because for 4 months, it was the only thing i was able to do to be a mother to Will. Sure I visited him several times a day and held him, but the only part of me i was able to fully give to him was my milk. So last week I weened off of pumping, which broke my heart but also was a relief.
I'm hoping that my next pregnancy is 100% different, with only the same end result, a beautiful healthy baby.
On a brighter note, there was a video floating around Facebook made by a preemie dad who took videos of their babies first year of life. Boy did I cry the entire video! Unfortunately, we didn't take many videos, but we took several pictures! So i put together this video of pictures from Will's 4 month NICU stay!
This past month has been the happiest month of my life. I am so so grateful for our baby boy and how healthy he is! This will be such a fun holiday season having our new addition with us.
Matt's sister, Julie, took some 'wanna-be newborn' pictures for us a few weeks ago. He is still on oxygen but we took these right after his bath when we were changing his cheek stickers.
It's weird being called a mom and saying ' I have a son'. But I LOVE it so so much. I can't imagine my life without this bundle of joy. My heart is so so full this holiday season and always will be.
Also, Matt and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary! I cannot believe how quickly it has passed, though it also seems like a lifetime. I am so thankful for such a helpful, loving, amazing husband. He is such a great father to Will. Love you Matt!
