Oh how love the Christmas season! This year I think I appreciate the meaning of Christmas more than ever. Given this years events & experiences, I have never been more thankful for our Heavenly Father, and for His Son who came to Earth to die for us.
Before this year, I had never really experienced anything 'life-changing' or really significant, besides getting married to my best friend of course.
This year I experienced levels of emotions that I had never imagined.
Sure I knew what fear was. But I hadn't experienced the fear of not knowing if my baby would survive delivering at 26 weeks. Or the fear of watching my baby get sick again when he was so close to coming home.
Sure I knew what joy was. But I hadn't experienced the joy of hearing that 26 week baby cry for the first time. Or the joy of seeing my baby open his eyes for the first time a week after he was born. Or the joy of being able to bring my baby home after 4 long months in the NICU.
Sure I knew what sadness was. But I hadn't experienced the sadness of watching my baby silently cry because of the tubes down his throat. Or the sadness of having dear friends in the same NICU say goodbye to their sweet Lacey who was born at 24 weeks, knowing that could have been us.
Sure I knew what happiness was. But I had never held my baby for the first time 3 weeks after he was born. Or the happiness of putting clothes on my baby when he was a month and a half old, because this meant he was free of the IVs.
And sure I was thankful. But never has my heart been so full of gratitude. For
Sure I knew what fear was. But I hadn't experienced the fear of not knowing if my baby would survive delivering at 26 weeks. Or the fear of watching my baby get sick again when he was so close to coming home.
Sure I knew what joy was. But I hadn't experienced the joy of hearing that 26 week baby cry for the first time. Or the joy of seeing my baby open his eyes for the first time a week after he was born. Or the joy of being able to bring my baby home after 4 long months in the NICU.
Sure I knew what sadness was. But I hadn't experienced the sadness of watching my baby silently cry because of the tubes down his throat. Or the sadness of having dear friends in the same NICU say goodbye to their sweet Lacey who was born at 24 weeks, knowing that could have been us.
Sure I knew what happiness was. But I had never held my baby for the first time 3 weeks after he was born. Or the happiness of putting clothes on my baby when he was a month and a half old, because this meant he was free of the IVs.
And sure I was thankful. But never has my heart been so full of gratitude. For
this precious life. For the amazing miracles of modern medicine. For the amazing medical staff that held our hands as we watched our little one ride the roller coaster of the NICU. For the amazing friends and family who have stood by us from day one. For an amazing husband who was strong when I was weak, and lifted me up when I was down.
And most of all, I am so incredibly thankful for a loving Savior. He has felt each of these emotions x1000. and because He did that willingly, I was, and am, able to turn to him in my darkest hour. When I thought all hope was lost, He was there. When I felt like giving up, He was there. When I was overjoyed by the progress our baby was making, He was there.
Knowing that someone has felt exactly what I was feeling made it that much more bearable. I always had, and will have, someone to turn to in times of despair, sorrow, and loneliness. I know I can always depend on Him to be there. I know if we all can rely on Him, He can and will help us through our trials and sufferings.
And most of all, I am so incredibly thankful for a loving Savior. He has felt each of these emotions x1000. and because He did that willingly, I was, and am, able to turn to him in my darkest hour. When I thought all hope was lost, He was there. When I felt like giving up, He was there. When I was overjoyed by the progress our baby was making, He was there.
Knowing that someone has felt exactly what I was feeling made it that much more bearable. I always had, and will have, someone to turn to in times of despair, sorrow, and loneliness. I know I can always depend on Him to be there. I know if we all can rely on Him, He can and will help us through our trials and sufferings.
"All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ." Shayne M. Bowen
John 14: 18 "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."
This Christmas season my heart is full of so many things, but mainly gratitude. I am grateful for our dear Father in Heaven who sent his own son here to die for me, and you.And for the knowledge that He did so that we may live again. I hope we can all remember the true meaning Christmas and the tremendous impact it has on our lives.
I cannot put into words how grateful I am for this precious soul and for the lessons his life has already taught me.
❄️Merry Christmas ❄️
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